Monday, November 30, 2009

YOGA BEEF + BASIC RULES


So I’m sitting here totally procrastinating. Should be working on lyrics for 2 new songs. But um, yeah. Not really doing that as you can see. I have the chorus for both but verses? They’re in a state of flux at the moment. Came home after yoga this morning, and felt so sleepy. Don’t know what the heck. Is it the weather? It was definitely colder today than it’s been lately. I mean, I was sitting in my ‘singing’ chair warming up, and I actually couldn’t keep my eyes open. WTF people? Is anyone with me? You know I’ll feel so much better about myself if you too were sleepy today, so fess up. Seriously.

Ok, I have some yoga beef. And I’m not talking about something you eat, like veggie ‘beef’ or some shit. I’m talking about issues. First off I will say I absolutely adore my yoga teacher, so this has zero to do with her. No sir. My beef is with a certain man who was in attendance today. Never seen dude before. I came in late (really didn’t start the day off right) and set up my matt beside him. Immediately I noticed his vibes. Scattered, huffy-puffy and distracted with a hint of slime-ball. So I says to myself, I says “Ayesh, chill, no judgment” and continue about my business. Most of the time I was successful at tuning out his very loud presence, but on occasion I wasn’t so successfully Zen. I kept bringing myself back though…breathe, shoulders down the back, shins resist forward…ahhhhhh. I try not to notice him looking my way. After all, he doesn’t know much, so I’m helping him right? Yeah, he’s looking to me for guidance. No judgment. Right.

After class I was in convo with some friends, when he beelines over and interrupts the cipher by pointing at my abdomen (almost touching me), saying “you have a really nice tattoo on your belly.” It was abrupt and totally out of nowhere. And carried with it that familiar ‘violated’ feeling, as he glared at it. It’s my belly people. Not my arm or some extremity. I don’t know about you but, to me, the belly is an intimate area. And it was completely covered up. It wasn’t like I was flashing that shit for all to see. The only way my tattoo would’ve been revealed is if I was in some really deep sideways stretch. Facing him. Which was rare. And even then, it would only be a sliver of a glimpse. So dude was grilling me like that?? In f’n yoga class?? Ew. I feel totally gross now. I mean if I wanted that kind of attention I’d go to the damned gym.

He also noticed my necklace (my name in Arabic) and got all up into my personal space to point at it as well- again, almost touching. Even dropped the “I couldn’t read it” and leans in closer to ‘read’ my necklace because he knows Arabic (of course). His eyes were all over my body, not once did he look me in the eye. Ew I say, ew. I sharply turn away. I mean, didn’t his mama tell him it was rude to point? I know that’s old school, but the guy was def a considerable amount older than me, so he’s gotta know that rule. And what’s up with breaking the cipher?? Just bustin’ in like an f’n rhino. He just had this intrusive, ‘grabby’ thing going on, that made me want to smack him.

For those of you who know me well (which I believe are the ONLY people who read this blog), you know how bloody hard it is for me to remain calm in these types of situations. I kept reminding myself of where I was. Yoga studio. Incense in the air. I wasn’t ‘nice’ to him, that’s for sure. Not yogic at.all. But, luckily for him I’ve been home from BK for a year now, and my edges have softened considerably. He got off easy. Slimy Bastard.

Now, if there are any males out there reading this, I will not apologize for my bitching. I will just hope that you can somehow empathize. Trust me, I’ve actually been kind and not gotten into his unattractive physical attributes. Because I DO believe that it doesn’t matter. It is the attitude that matters. My frustration makes me want to say really mean things, but I’m trying to be evolved over here. I don’t know. Do guys go through the same shit? Different pile?

Hmm.

Well, I’ll leave you with my rules to live by when approaching someone you don’t know, but may want to know. I believe these apply to men and women.

1- Don’t invade someone’s personal space. And don’t point into it either.
2- Don’t break the cipher! Whether it be convo, dancing, rhyming or whatever. Just don’t do it.
3- Look people in the eye.
4- If you shake hands, for God’s sake make it firm! Floppy handshakes are gross…

Ok. I’m tired and I can’t think anymore.
Thank you for reading my rant, I feel much better now.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

2 POOPS + 1 BUNNY


OMG. Yesterday was the best.day.ever. Woke up nice and early to get in a good vocal warm-up and work on my songs, before trekking downtown for my meeting with Rosi and Nick to discuss the possibility of making sweet music together (minds out of the gutter please, and thank you). I knew the day was heading in the right direction on account of the fact that I was wearing a fab outfit- which ALWAYS makes me feel like a million bucks- even though it probably only cost me $10. Another thing that makes me feel like a million bucks? Straightening my hair. Its soft and oh so flowy and makes me look like a different person. Unfortunately, my mother hates it.

Anyhow, made it downtown with straight hair still intact and plopped myself onto their couch. Let me just say that Rosi and Nick are one of my favorite couples of all time. They have managed to stay together for a freakishly long time (for people of my age) while maintaining their independence and humor. Don’t get me wrong, when I get all gushy, they let me know that it’s not always easy and it takes work, but damn! It’s inspiring to say the least. And gives me much needed hope. Just have to give them props over here.

Ok, ok, back to the music. Ahem. Me me me me me!!

After I sing my four complete songs for the dynamic duo, we start to discuss the next plan of action. First step? Get in the studio, make the music and record the tracks. Nick tells me he can ‘see everything, the video, the music…’ which makes me super happy. We discuss what kind of sound and vibes I want. We all agree. And I’m like- hold up a second, son. Is this really happening?? Are my wildest dreams ACTUALLY coming true? How did I get here? Not only are these people my friends- my fam- who I love and trust completely, but they want to help me. They believe in me. And they have the knowledge. Its amazing folks. Seriously, I woke up pinching myself.

But wait, the day only gets better! How, you may ask? Well for one, I pooped not once but twice yesterday!!!! Ew, you say? Man listen, you can ‘ew’ all you want, deep down inside you know how great that is. Don’t even try to lie. After the awesome ‘production meeting’ I headed to the AMC at Yonge/Dundas to catch a flick with V and J. F’n Ninja Assassin people. Alls I’m sayin’ is that shit was kick ass!! Literally. Had me wanting to do flying leaps with a sword in hand ready to chop unsuspecting strangers heads off. In the most loving way, of course.

And last but not least, I was walking home from the bus stop when, lo and behold, a little grey bunny jumped out from under a pine. Its ears were sticking straight up and it was sooooo cute (no, I didn’t want to chop its furry head off). I have NEVER seen a bunny out in the ‘wild’ and man was it surreal. And to top it all off, my hair remained pin straight ALL day.

God. If only every day could be this perfect.