DENNY WISDOM + SIRACHA

Today was a lovely day. Not because something major happened. The weather sucked, I froze my ass off but somehow I sit here now, with a big grin on my face. Woke up rather pleasantly around 9am and lingered under the covers for a few, as Mutah sat purring away on my legs. Aww. Then I shoved him in his carrier and carted him off to the vet. I felt bad ‘cuz he was in a strangely affectionate mood. But, it was time for his leukemia booster and, judging by his recent spazzy attacking of himself, I also deemed flea drops a necessity. As usual, he starts trying to ‘dig’ his way out of the cage, with a look of sheer determination that I’ve never seen on any domestic animal- not to mention very few humans. I wonder at him. Whatever Mutah does, he’s completely convinced of his success no matter the odds. Yes, I could learn a lot from him. But instead I tell him he’s crazy and toss him in the back seat. It was a quick appointment so we were back home in no time, with Mutah happily running all over the house and leaping from the furniture once again.

On the way back from the vet, Denny had been raving about this Chinese supermarket him and mom frequent. Apparently they have an ENTIRE wall of tea and a myriad of those jelly candy things with chunks of lychee in them. Yum! He was planning to go get some ‘sleepy’ tea so I decided to join him, ready for a Scarlem adventure. We enter the massive market and make a beeline to the tea aisle (thankfully Denny knows his way around this joint). Oh joy! Finally, some REAL jasmine tea- and not for 10 million dollars- 100 bags for $3! Woohoo! I pick those up, Denny gets his sleepy fix and we start to meander. Now here’s where it gets really exciting. We turn the aisle and come across the ‘sauce’ section. Hm, ok…soy sauce, oyster sauce…boom! Siracha!!!!! God, I love Siracha. And they had a massive bottle for only $2.50! Now, its not like you can’t get all this stuff in Toronto. You can, we have the best Chinatown ever. But its downtown folks, and I live in the boons, so this was like finding a gem in the forest. A really spicy gem. In a really flat forest. I passed on the jelly lychee candies though, even as their brightly colored packaging wooed my senses. I said ‘no!’ (you see, I’m getting good at thwarting my inner sugar addict).

We later stopped at the Bulk Barn (an all-time fave) where Denny started to wax poetic about how to communicate with women. I found his tactics awesome dare I say perfect? It had me wishing all my male friends and previous boyfriends were convened around a blazing bonfire listening to Denny drop pearls of man wisdom. Here are some important points:

1 Speak sweetly to her
2 Tell her she looks beautiful often
3 Compliment her outfit
4 Give her flowers (making your own freshly picked arrangement is a good idea)
5 Do stuff

Then it was time to bid my Denny adieu, as I braved the cold and wet to return some DVD’s at the Film Buff. I made the long trek, proudly sporting my Brooklyn College hoodie and doing away with my massive purse by utilizing the kangaroo pouch. I stuffed my wallet, phone and ipod in there and ended up looking like I had a massive FUPA. But I didn’t give a shit. It was one of those days where you just don’t care what you look like. Comfort was key. That’s how I know I’m getting old, and its getting cold. My fashion sense goes completely out the window. Say goodbye to the Ayesha you know and love, soon I will only be two blinking eyes staring out from a mound of coat and scarves.

After an hour and a half I reach my destination. I return the DVD’s and pay the $1.50 late charge, all the while telling my self I don’t need ice cream. If you don’t already know, you can get a massive ice cream cone at the Film Buff for $2- and its REALLY good ice cream. But it’s freezing out. I mean, my nose is running, my hands are cold and my shoulders have made their way up to my ear lobes. So Ayesh, you DON’T need ice cream. I turn toward the exit and start walking. And here’s where I lost. I made the mistake of glancing ever so slightly in the direction of the ice cream counter, and it was all over. They didn’t even have the flavor I wanted, but I still got the damn ice cream. What can I say? I will consider today a tie.

I get back home to a lovely dinner of barbecued eel, sticky rice, eggplant and bokchoy. How completely appropriate. Yes folks, it’s time to whip out the Siracha. To my surprise neither Denny or mom knew what it was. Whaaa? I say. You MUST drown your food in it mom. So as we sat around watching lions hunting zebras on Discovery HD, all you could hear was the sniffle of our collective runny noses. Denny gave up first. I got full and therefore had to stop eating. But, as I make my way down to the cave, I see mom attack the remaining sauce around her bowl with her fingers. Licking up every last bit of the spicy goodness.

Winner! Gagnon!
Grins all around.

GLOSSARY:
Scarlem- nickname for Scarborough, a suburb of Toronto (NYers may consider this a borough).
FUPA- Fat.Upper.Pubic.Area.
Winner! Gagnon!- this is what the lotto machine exclaims when someone wins. I find it completely hilarious.